Never Look Down On A Living Being, Sadist!
by Anusmita
Summary: In a bad mood after being rudely woken up by Hijikata, Sougo goes for a stroll in the park, where he meets a filthy Amanto dog. He insults it, causing it to curse him. The next morning, he wakes up to find that, alas, the curse has come true! Can Sougo get the 'divine punishment' repealed in time, as Kagura almost breaks down worrying about him? Read on to find out!


**Never Look Down On a Living Being, Sadist!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama and its awesome characters.**

"SOUGO! Are you planning to sleep the whole day?! Didn't I assign you patrol duty in Kabuki cho today?! Get going before I tell Matsudaira Totsuan to cut your salary!"

" _Die,_ Hijikata-san. Sleep is extremely essential for me to renew my sadistic energies. And I've just killed you 99 times, so maybe I should make the 100th corpse a flesh and blood one…"

" Are you an assassin or a police officer?! Why the hell do you have such an obsession with killing me, huh? Now, just get going!"

Sougo threw a last murderous glance at HIjikata before getting up lazily and walking out of the Shinsengumi headquarters. He smirked with satisfaction when he heard a huge blast: the bomb he had planted in Hijibaka's office had detonated successfully. Hopefully, he would be attending a funeral soon. Still, the thought didn't completely erase his bad mood at being woken up from a real comfortable nap. He traced his steps towards his favorite park bench, intending to continue his nap there. Obviously, he had no intention of patrolling the city as commanded by his Vice-chief. Unfortunately, when he reached there, he found it occupied by a mangy dog, covered in dirt and frankly looking repulsive.

As we know, the prince of the planet of sadists was already in a not-so-good mood and the sight of a dirty intruder on his spot angered him more. A murderous aura spread around him as he spoke," You filthy cur, how dare you defile my holy resting spot? Now get up and lick the ground before my feet if you want me to spare you some more torture."

The dog raised its ears and looked at Sougo. It snarled, but didn't budge a bit. The sadist, however, simply became more interested. He hadn't tortured anyone yet today and he could begin with this dog that didn't know its place yet. So he taunted it again.

"Do you wish to be kicked off? Is that why you're not moving, scum? But I really don't feel like dirtying my boots by kicking you…"

Then, to Sougo's surprise, the dog spoke," Everyone loves to look down at others from the heights of their ivory towers. You humans are the same. You consider me filthy and inferior, don't you? Do you even bother how we feel?! And you're one of my worst tormentors so far, you're a heartless sadist!"

"Hey, I haven't even begun the torture. But I am surprised that you can talk. Torturing you will be so much more fun and I can always give an explanation that I caught a suspicious and uniquely repulsive Amanto."

"Who're you calling suspicious and repulsive, demon-spawn?! I come from the great planet Canis Major and I've followed all proper procedures too! And I only look like this because I am currently under cover! But for insulting me and for looking down on a living thing, I curse you Sadist. You'll soon be lowered to the same level as us. And then shall you understand our pain. But it will be too late when that happens."

Sougo stared at the dog before bursting into mocking laughter. " You've got some guts, haven't you? But your curse doesn't seem to be working, O great and ugly stray cur. I'm still a hundred miles above of you and you'll just have to live with that."

And so, leaving a fuming dog behind, Sougo walked away casually, searching for another place to nap in. Unseen by him, the dog's lips twisted into an evil smirk, as he murmured," My words never fail to come true. I'll teach you never to look down upon a living being, Sadist."

The next morning, when Sougo woke up, he found that his sleeping mask was slipping down his face for some reason. Also, the bed seemed to have become a lot bigger than before. And, ew, was that hair all over it? Gross! Mentally making a note to kill whoever was disturbing his morning like this, Sougo pushed his way out of the heavy blankets that were suffocating him and jumped out of the bed, landing on four legs. Wait, _four legs? WHAT THE HELL?_ Feeling a terrible panic rising in him, Sougo rushed to the bathroom immediately to look in the mirror.

A small dog with sandy fur and claret red eyes stared back at him fron the mirror. He raised his hand and waved. The dog did the same. He desperately shook his head. The dog copied him. Slowly, with horror, Sougo looked at his 'hands'. They were now paws. He felt his face. His teeth had become sharper, more pointed. Instead of a sharp, smooth jaw, he seemed to have a snout. Not daring to believe it, he slowly looked at the mirror in front of him again. He had become a dog. A cute, furry, sandy haired, red eyed _dog_.

"WOOOOF!"

Just then, Yamazaki entered the bathroom, yawning and rubbing his eyes, with Saitou, clad in pyjamas behind him. Sougo stared at them, wanting to laugh at how comical they looked, but when he remembered his new appearance, he stopped immediately. What the hell would he do if they recognized him? All his reputation as the fearsome, sadistic captain of the Shinsengumi would chucked away into a kennel!

" EH! A dog?! Saitou-san, look, it's a dog! However did it get here?"

 _Have you never seen a dog in your entire life, you fool Zaki?_

" ZZZZ… "

"Really, Saitou-san, asleep again? But whatever do we do now? Rule 36 of the Kyokuchou Hatto forbids the keeping of any pets in the Shinsengumi… The Vice Chief will most probably make its owner and it commit seppuku…"

 _Why the hell are you so scared of Hijikata san? And can't you seriously recognize me?_

"We should just show the dog to him. Maybe he'll forgive it, seeing as it's rather cute." Saitou held up his notebook with the words written on it. Yamazaki nodded and bent down to pick up the dog, which snapped violently at him and scratched him, causing him to yell in pain. _Serves you right for trying to pet me_ , Sougo smirked.

"It is smirking! It really likes seeing me in pain! This dog is a total sadist!" Yamazaki cried, clutching his bleeding hand. Saitou felt that the dog was definitely similar to Captain Okita, though he didn't dare to write that down.

Hijkata stared at the dog in front of him. Yamazaki, Kondou and quite a few members of the Shinsengumi had come complaining about a sadistic dog in the headquarters that scratched and bit everyone except Kondou-san. And now the dog was shooting death glares at him.

 _As if having Sougo trying to kill me isn't enough, but this damn dog has to do it too?_ Hijikata wondered however it had got there. Apparently, it was no one's pet and it didn't seem to be very qualified to become a police dog either (When Hijikata had tried the mayonnaise test on him, the dog had simply chucked a pointed stone out of nowhere at his face and scorned his precious mayonnaise.) Hijikata was seriously beginning to _hate_ the dog.

Eventually, he decided to kick the dog out of the headquarters. One sadist was enough trouble as it was, they did _not_ require another sadistic dog to become his assistant.

Sougo fumed. He cursed the entire Shinsengumi from the Commander to the plain investigator, especially the Vice chief. How dare they treat him as a dumb animal and try to pet him, beat him or pick him up without even considering how he felt about it? And worse, that mayo freak thought of feeding him that disgusting crap he loved. He, Okita Sougo, captain of the Shinsengumi, was being treated like a dog.

Cross that. He was a dog at the moment. As far as looks and sound went, he was no different from a dog, was he? But he still thought as a human and thus was hating every moment of living as a dumb animal, with no one understanding how he felt. All the words he wanted to yell out were reduced to barks and woofs, which conveyed no meaning at all. Sougo roamed the streets of Kabuki cho, searching for food. He was very hungry, having eaten nothing since morning. He was far too proud to put on puppy dog eyes and plead for food from some shopkeeper and he barely had enough energy to steal it from somewhere. Was this how stray animals felt when they wandered around, not having a home to go back to or anyone to understand them?

Finally, he reached the park bench and flopped down in front of it. He had been desperately hoping that he would see the Amanto dog from before and find out how to become human again. He swore to himself that once he became a human, no matter how sadistic he felt, he would never look down on a living being again. And he would never ever insult a stray dog again. Suddenly...

" Sadaharu! Let's play!"

"WAN!"

Kagura and Sadaharu ran into the park, playing a confused game of tag. The huge white dog leaped on his mistress, who tackled him easily with her Yato strength and beckoned him to try again, laughing happily.

"Woof!" _China!_ Sougo called out, wondering whether she would recognize him, unlike everyone else.

Kagura turned around, surprised to hear a small bark. When she saw the dog lying at the foot of the bench, she ran up to it, Sadaharu trotting behind her.

"Ne, Sadaharu, this dog looks really worn out. I wonder, was it abandoned by its master?" She reached out her hands to gently touch him. Sougo, feeling rather disappointed, let her, he was too tired to snap at her in any case. Seeing that the dog wasn't averse to her touch, Kagura smiled and picked him up, fondling him softly and patting him. She was very gentle, she didn't want the dog to end up like Sadaharu 1 to 29.

Sougo found himself enjoying her touch. He wondered how someone as strong as her could be so gentle, but he didn't mind. She smelled like sukonbu mixed with strawberry shampoo and flowers. And it was a smell he loved at once… Wait, what the hell was he thinking? He seriously wasn't falling in love with China, was he? She was only being nice to him because he was a dog, If he had looked like his usual self, she would probably be trying to break his bones by now…

Kagura, meanwhile, was taking a good look at him. Finally, she commented," You know, you look a lot like the sadist. You have the same hair and eyes as him. But you're a lot cuter than that idiot! But you must be hungry, right? Here, have some strawberry parfaits." And she placed the sweets in front of him, smiling mischievously, serve Gin-chan right for spending all her salary to buy strawberry parfaits and play pachinko. She watched the 'dog' wolf it all down and reached out to pat him again.

Kagura found herself liking the dog. She wanted to take him home but she knew that Gin-chan would never allow it. Besides, they had enough trouble trying to pay the rent and everything, there was no way they could keep another pet. But she couldn't leave the dog alone and helpless, could she? Suddenly, a bright idea entered her mind and she jumped up and raced away, leaving behind two puzzled dogs.

Sougo looked after her shrinking back, wondering where she was off to. Sadaharu nudged him, and barked. To his surprise, Sougo found that he could understand the giant dog.

"Woof _" You're not actually a dog, are you?_

"Wooof" _No, I'm a human that's been turned into a dog._

"Wan?" _I see. Why?_

"Woof…" _Because I scorned one and looked down on it. I wonder, will I have to stay as a dog forever?_

"WOOF!" _Don't worry, we, the Yorozuya, will definitely help you!_

They paused their canine conversation, as Kagura returned, her hands full of wooden planks and cardboard. Sougo truly did not have a single clue as to what she was planning to do with them, but he soon found out when she laid them down on the ground and began making a makeshift kennel. Though, it hardly looked like one, thanks to her clumsiness.

Kagura pouted in frustration. She had thought that making a temporary kennel for the cute dog to stay in would be a piece of cake, after all, didn't Madao usually live in one? But who knew that it would be so tricky to make? If she fixed one wall, the other would crash down at once. And when she took care of that, the formerly fixed wall would betray her. Mopping her forehead, she resumed her attempts once more. This time, she put up two walls, and was about to put up another, when it all collapsed again, causing her to yell in frustration. The fact that the red eyed dog was smirking at her clumsiness, with a definitely sadistic air wasn't helping her at all.

"You, you are way too much like that annoying Sadist! I'm trying to help, so how can you laugh at me, uh huh?! I won't be trying to help any more if you do that! And I know you're mocking me, so don't play dumb and innocent. And Sadaharu, don't you join him too!"

Sougo was definitely amused at her outburst. He rather enjoyed seeing her aggravated and angry. He liked the way her face reddened, and how she puffed her cheeks, pouting like a small, whimsical kid. However, if it went on like this, he saw that he was probably going to have to spend the night in the cold, without a shelter and no, he had no intentions whatsoever of doing that. So he picked up a few nails in his paws, barking orders to Sadaharu, who easily placed the planks and boards in place as he nailed them. Kagura could only watch in astonishment, as the dogs built the kennel by themselves.

Finally, when it was done, she patted and hugged both of them, praising them happily, though she was a little ashamed that they had done what she could never have. Sougo was tucked in comfortably in his kennel by the two members of the Yorozuya, both of whom bid him goodnight (the sun had begun to set) and left with a promise to come back again the next morning.

The next morning, Kagura woke up late as usual, after Shinpachi had yelled at her and Gin for over an hour to wake them up. She carefully did up her hair, after kicking Gin-chan out of the bathroom for trying to hog the small mirror. As they were eating breakfast, the fragile peace that prevailed over the office was broken by a loud knocking at the door. A voice called, far too loudly, "OI, Yorozuya! Are you in there?" Shinpachi opened the door, as the other two were far too lazy to budge, to see an anxious looking Kondou and an annoyed Hijikata standing in front of him. After they were seated inside, not without complaints from Gin and Kagura about not wanting a nicotine addict and gorilla in the house at 'early' morning, Kondou began with a pensive face," Yorozuya, there's something we need a little help in. Normally, we wouldn't ask, but seeing how serious it could be…"

"What, Gorilla, did you get rejected by that she-devil again? Or did someone report you as a stalker?"

"For goodness' sake Kondou-san, this is why I _told_ you not to ask them for help. They obviously won't be able to do a thing or even give any useful info."

"What did you just say, Mayo freak?!" "Who're you calling Mayo freak, you sugar addict with a bad perm!"

"HOW DARE YOU KNOCK OVER MY EGGS OVER RICE?! JUST GO DIE, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS!" And Kagura kicked both Gintoki and Hijikata out of the office, down the staircase, fuming over her ruined breakfast. Kondou sighed helplessly and looked at Shinpachi, with a hint of appeal in his eyes. The human wearing glasses took pity on him and said," Sorry for all the trouble, Kondou-san… Anyway, what was it that you came for?"

" You see, Shinpachi, Kagura, the Shinsengumi is currently busy hunting down a gang of extremist Joui rebels. But that isn't what worries me most… Actually, the thing I'm most troubled about is that Sougo's been missing since yesterday. He was last seen the previous night and since then, it's almost as if all traces of him have disappeared. All the available police are out scouting for him, but we can hardly do as much as we want to, what with our hands full with this mission and all. There's also a chance that he might have been kidnapped or- please, help us in finding him…"

Kagura stared at the police commander in front of her, trying to take in what he had just said. The sadist had gone missing? Without a word, without a trace? But there was no way he would be beaten by those Joui idiots, hell, she would be damn embarrassed if he did! So wherever could he be? And why the heck was she so worried about the idiot in the first place?!

" We get it, Kondou-san. We'll definitely help you all find Okita san for sure. So don't worry, okay? And, um, shouldn't you be more worried about yourself at the moment?" Shinpachi consoled the Police commander, who was being chewed up by Sadaharu, blood dripping down his face.

"Sadaharu, stop chewing that Gorilla, you'll get some infection for sure. Come on now, we need to get going." Kagura ordered, looking unusually serious. The dog obeyed her and followed her out of the house.

Sougo, meanwhile had woken up to find that he still hadn't become a human in the night. He 'sighed', if dogs could do that, it looked like he would have to stay like this for a couple of days more, at the least. Looking at the clock at the entrance of the park, he wondered why the China girl hadn't come yet. Not that he was waiting for her, not in the least.

It was just then that the said China girl walked into the park with her huge dog, holding a bowl of food. Sougo noted that she looked different today, pretty serious, anxious and even upset. He wondered what might have happened to her.

Kagura knelt in front of him, putting down the bowl of takoyaki she was carrying. Smiling a little, she asked, " Ne, had a good night? You weren't cold or anything, were you? I'm sorry, I can't be staying around to play with you today. So don't give me puppy dog eyes, uh huh."

 _As if I'd be giving puppy dog eyes to you, China. I'm only being obedient because I'm hungry and homeless! Otherwise, I, the prince of the planet of sadists, would never listen to you!_ "WOOF!"

Looking at the dog's proud, annoyed red eyes, Kagura remembered how the idiot sadist would glare at her with the exact same eyes. It hurt her to remember it for it was likely that he would never glare at her again, never quarrel with her again… _What the hell am I thinking? The sadist would never die before killing Mayora, uh huh! And he definitely wouldn't lose to those Joui guys too! I've just got to search hard and find him, and when I do, I'll kick his ass for sure!_

And she got up and raced away. Sadaharu went after her. Sougo too began to go after them, but he was stopped by Sadaharu's bark, " WOOF!" _(Don't come, it'll be too dangerous! No matter who you are, you cannot defend yourself in a form you're alien to!")_

Sougo gnashed his teeth in chagrin. But he knew that the giant white dog was right, all he could do was wait.

Kagura only came back the next morning, looking exhausted and worn out. But she still had remembered to bring along his food. Sougo was becoming increasingly worried every minute as he sniffed her. She no longer smelled of sukonbu or strawberry, but of gunpowder and grime. What the hell was his China doing? Had she been in a fight recently? For the millionth time, Sougo cursed the fact that he could no longer talk as a human, there was no way he would know what was going on like this.

" It's okay, don't worry about me. I'm totally fine. Though I mayn't look it, I guess. I'm just out searching for someone who is real idiotic, sadistic, aggravating and very important to me. I swear, he'll pay for making me worry when I get my hands on him…"

 _Huh? She read what I was thinking? You're weird, China… Wait a bit, is she searching for me? That's right, I totally forgot I'd be missed at the Shinsengumi. I bet Kondou-san would have asked the Yorozuya for help, seeing how the situation is and all… Damn, I wish I could tell her that the guy she's looking for is right under her nose…_

Patting his head again for one last time, Kagura rose and walked away. This time, he barked to get her attention, to get her to stop, and even ran after her but all she told him was, "Don't come, it's far too dangerous. It's bad enough to have one sadist missing, I'd hate it if his canine lookalike goes missing too, uh huh. Wait for me, I'll definitely be back." And he had to let her go. After all, he was only a lowly dog, nothing else.

Hours passed. The Sun slowly moved west, bidding goodbye to Edo. It was fast becoming night now. Yet, a solitary sandy haired dog could be seen in front of the playground, as if waiting for someone to come.

Sougo waited. He had searched about the entire day for the Amanto dog, desperate for a way to return back to his original self. But in the evening, he had come back to wait, just as she had asked him to. Suddenly, he saw a lonely figure, carrying an umbrella, entering the park. It was her. She looked a mess, her white skin bearing numerous wounds, her cheongsam ripped and muddied. She dropped down near the 'dog', burying her face in her hands. Sougo moved closer to her, touching his tongue to her face, trying to wipe away the dried blood from the wounds. The girl hugged the dog closer to her, crying into his silky fur. He could hear her talking incoherently as she cried," I can't find him anywhere- anywhere! Where the hell has that sadist vanished too?! Goddamnit, it hurts, I just want to see him again… We haven't even settled all our fights, he can't go like this… It was bad enough to have Papi, Baka-niichan and Mami leave me, why do I have to lose Sougo too? It's not fair at all…"

Sougo could only listen in helpless silence as the girl slowly cried herself to sleep, clutching him in her arms. He softly nuzzled away her tears, wishing fervently that he could stop them from ever falling again. Suddenly, he heard the soft thudding of paws behind him. Turning around, he saw that it was the same Amanto dog that he had insulted earlier, still as mangy as before.

"So, sadist, have you learnt your lesson, I wonder? Want to become a human again so that you regain your superiority?"

" I want to become a human, yes, but not to get back all that crap. I want to become human again so that I can protect her, wipe her tears and get beaten up by her again. But even if you can't do that-"

"Hey, are you underestimating me again? Of course I can do that! But for a sadist, you don't have a bad heart. You'll never survive as a stray dog, go be a human again."

And with that, he thumped his paws and vanished into the night. Feeling a sudden sleep overtaking him, Sougo closed his eyes.

When he woke up again, he knew that he was a human again. Because he could see Kagura's azure eyes glaring daggers at him, clearly saying, _you're so dead_. Well, he was holding her pretty close, after all. But what he didn't expect was her impulsively hugging him, shaking with relief and also anger. Smiling, he cupped her face, pushed back her hair and leaned forward to kiss her. As she kissed him back fervently, he quietly took an oath that he'd never look down on dumb animals ever again.

 **A/N: And there ends my fourth fanfic. I hope you enjoyed reading it! Please review, I love knowing what you all think of it. Constructive criticism and kudos are always very, very much welcome! Feel free to send me suggestions, prompts and PMs!**


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